


MAG 666 - The Escape of Slappy

by turntechSleepyhead



Category: Goosebumps - All Media Types, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Gen, Ghost Hunters, is this crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 15:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntechSleepyhead/pseuds/turntechSleepyhead
Summary: “Yes. Again. But, um, hold on one second. ” He clicked on the recorder and leaned into it. “Paranormal Research Club, investigation one. 15th September, 2001. This statement is about… spiders? I guess?” He turned back to Martin and mouthed‘Okay. Go.’An intrepid young Jonathan Sims and his ragtag gang of fellow youths spend their after-school hours investigate the mysterious goings-on of the small town of Jonahsburg. Reader beware, you're in for a scare!





	MAG 666 - The Escape of Slappy

**Author's Note:**

> This is incredibly silly! I wrote this up pretty quickly and there's been virtually no editing, so let me know of any grammar stuff or american-isms! This chapter is really more of a prologue and each "investigation" should be its own chapter.

“How about you start from the beginning.” Jon sighs at his trembling classmate. “Start with your name, class, and tell me what happened.” This was the third time he’d tried to take this statement, but there was something either wrong with his mic or the study room’s computer, so he had run to the broadcasting room and stolen an old tape recorder. 

“Again?”

“Yes. Again. But, um, hold on one second. ” He clicked on the recorder and leaned into it. “Paranormal Research Club, investigation one. 15th September, 2001. This statement is about… spiders? I guess?” He turned back to Martin and mouthed ‘Okay. Go.’ very deliberately.

_“Um. Martin Blackwood. Year ten. I- Do I have to put my face as close to the recorder as you did? I think it can probably hear me from here. Okay, here goes. I- You have to understand I never meant to hurt anyone. I would NEVER. I just wanted to seem brave. But still._

_"My cousin, Duncan, is something of a- Well, he’s a bully, plain and simple. He knows, he knows I’m afraid of a lot of things! But he’s always daring me to do things I don’t want to do. And this time, he made me stick my hand into a jar full of spiders.”_

Jon visibly shudders at the thought, but tries to tamp down his fear. 

_“Usually I back out of whatever horrible thing he tries to make me do, but- This time there were more people there. Upperclassmen. He’d invited over all these people I didn’t know. And something in me really wanted to impress them, or at least for them to not think I’m pathetic. So I did it. He told me the time limit was five full minutes, which didn’t seem too bad. But it turns out five minutes is a long time._

_He held out the jar to me. Just a large mason jar, over which he had fitted some sort of fabric with a stretchy hole in it. And that’s what gets me, you know. This isn’t just something he thought of spur-of-the-moment. He planned it. I pictured him outside with his homemade trap, gathering spiders for hours and hours, all to make me unhappy. At least someone is paying attention to me, in their own sick, twisted way, I suppose._

_So he held it out to me and I took it. I held it in my left hand and put in my right, which it turns out was a mistake, because my right hand is my dominant one and my left hand started to get tired and cramp right away. It must have been the size of the jar. It was too large to hold comfortably, and the glass was slippery with sweat._

_At first, I was paralysed. I’ve never been particularly afraid of spiders, you see, I even think some of them are quite cute. Particularly the fuzzy jumping spiders and some of the colorful garden varieties. So I thought that this would be fine. But the sheer amount of them was… deeply unpleasant, if I’m being honest. When my hand entered the jar, it startled them, and they scrambled away from the intrusion, but when they realized I wasn’t a predator, they spread out more evenly, which means that they started crawling over my skin. And it was itchy. I didn’t count on that. The fact that it would tickle to the point that my flesh would to start to itch so intensely that it started to_ hurt. 

_The crawling was really, really unpleasant and I wanted to pull my hand out more than anything. I honestly thought I might cry but I couldn’t show them that I was afraid. At that point, Duncan started taunting me, and something. Something changed.’ Martin’s voice trembled slightly._

_‘It was at this point that I stopped being afraid, and I started to be angry. I was trying to hold my hand in the center of the jar, to keep from touching the sides but my hand was slipping. It started to fall and I caught it from the inside, turning it sideways. And I expected to feel some of the spiders get crushed under my hand, which would be horrible. And I felt so guilty about it, like I was responsible for keeping the spiders safe. It wasn’t their fault any of this was happening. And something about that combination of anger and protectiveness made the fear go away._

_And it’s like they knew, Jon. It’s like the spiders could tell. When my hand came down on the glass, they moved out of the way in time, and then they started crawling onto my hand, and up my arm, pushing through the little fabric flap. In my surprise, I dropped the jar entirely and it shattered on the pavement. And then the strangest thing happened. It was like I could feel that the spiders didn’t want to hurt me. I could just tell somehow. And then the spiders that fell to the ground started forming… a line. They were all… skittering towards Duncan, and the ones on my arm followed. But they. They didn’t end. More and more spiders kept on, flowing from my arm, coming out of my sleeves, my pant legs. And they were all headed straight. For. Him._

_Duncan’s friends screamed. Who wouldn’t? They started backing up and turning away but it’s like Duncan was paralysed. He stood rooted to the spot, trapped there, and they- They got him.”_

“Spiders… Murdered your cousin?” Jon inquired drily. 

“No! He’s not-” Martin lowered his voice, “he’s not _dead_.”

“Well then why did you say it like that!”

“I don’t know! But he’s not _Dead_.” Martin paused for a moment. “He did have a severe allergic reaction to all of the bites and got sent to the hospital. The doctors said he had blood poisoning. Which sounds like a fake thing but is apparently real.”

Jon turned the recorder off and scooted is chair slightly further away from Martin. “So do you have spider-powers now?”

“Are you asking me if I’m Spider-Man?” Martin asked with a laugh.

“Of course not! I’m just. Not the biggest fan of spiders, that’s all.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” said a sardonic voice from behind Jon, startling him.

“Hello, Mrs. Robinson!” Martin greeted brightly. The elderly librarian gave him a cursory smile back.

“Yes, Hello,” Jon said through gritted teeth. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I’m the librarian, darling. I’m always here,” she reminded.

Jon sighed dramatically. “What I meant was I didn’t know you were here now. School ended an hour ago.”

“Which is exactly why I’ve come to clear you boys out of the library. I’d like to go home at some point today and I will have to lock the doors eventually. I can’t leave the library unsupervised, you know.” 

“But you said we could record in here! And have club meetings,” Jon argued.

“And you can. But I don’t see any other members of your little club around at the moment, and I really do need to lock up the study rooms. If you really need more time, you can move out into the main library and sit at a table. It’s not as if there are any other students in here anyway. Ever,” she added under her breath. “I know you prefer the fishbowl but I have to ask you to leave now.” And that was the end of that.

Martin, who had been sitting awkwardly through the exchange, excused himself quickly and ducked out the door, promising that he would ‘see Jon later,’ though why he would want to, Jon couldn’t fathom.

Jon packed his notes and the recorder into his briefcase. He had gotten it as a gift the previous Christmas, and he took it everywhere. It couldn’t fit much into it, just some papers, small items, and his padfolio, which he used in place of a normal binder. Despite its limited capacity, Jon thought it made him look rather sharp.

Belongings in hand, he turned to leave the library. “Jon, dear,” the librarian called. “I’ll see you at home.” 

 

____________

 

“So, it’s come to my attention,” Jon paused for dramatic effect. “That this town is really, really, quite odd.”

Melanie snorted. “Quite odd? Don’t you think that’s a bit of an understatement?”

Jon glared at her. “Quite. Odd.” He repeated. “Which is why we’re forming this club in the first place. I already have one statement for us to investigate. It’s about- Martin?!”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to join your club.”

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why? It’s a club. Anyone can join a club, right? Unless… is there some kind of application I needed to do?”

“No, it’s just. Well.”

“What he means is that no one else wants to associate with us. No one voluntarily hangs out with the weird ghost kids. No offense, guys. I’m Georgie. Hey Jon, don’t be a dickhead. Give Martin the spiel.”

“Spiel? Oh, right. Well. As I was saying, this is the Paranormal Research Club-”

“Ghost club!” Georgie interjected.

“Paranormal. Research. Club. No one will take ‘Ghost Club’ seriously, Georgina.”

Georgie stuck out her tongue. “Only my mum calls me Georgina, Jon, and only when she’s pissed at me.”

“Exactly,” Jon smiled at her. “ANYWAY. As you may have noticed, there’s a lot of creepy stuff that goes on in Jonahsburg. And our job is to investigate it.” He paused for dramatic effect. “I’m president of the club,” Melanie audibly huffed at this, “-Georgie is in charge of the website, Melanie is in charge of finding things to investigate and coordinating logistics. Any questions?” 

“No, I suppose not.”

“Still want to join the club? It’s very dangerous.”

“Stop scaring him, Jon! It’s not actually dangerous. The worst that’s happened is getting caught by a security guard in a parking lot once,” Melanie corrects him.

“That security guard turned out to be an evil blob-person!” Georgie interjected. 

At this moment, Jon realized that he had officially lost control of the room. And yet, by some miracle, Martin smiled brightly at Jon and said, “I’d love to!”


End file.
